The Secret Writers' Society: Also Known as Hush, Hush!

I've been in some very hard places with my drafts and the rewrites this week, but mostly with my (C) novel. I wrote (C) novel a long time ago. The infant story had an agent. This is a long piece of my life that had been exciting once, but now it's a very tiring story. I'd been young, I'd been hopeful. I had a real agent, not one of those that you have to pay to play. He loved the story, but he was a script agent. Let's focus on the key words here: He LOVED my story, like I LOVED my story.

Okay, I'm tired, but I'll tell the story.

My family knew I loved writing. I loved telling stories, which didn't exactly make me an outright liar because you'd have to be pretty dumb to believe some of my stories that included damsels in towers, aliens, time travelers, etc. My grandparents go to a very well known and popular church in California: Shepard of the Hill, and it seemed as though many "known" people gathered their to worship. They were friends with a man who was a writer and he said that he'd been having trouble getting published until he met this group. Because he was friends with my grandparents, he was willing to try and help me. He gave my grandparents an address in downtown Hollywood and all I had to do was walk in and tell the waitress I was there for the "meeting."

I had Emory drive down with me so I could get an eye for the location. Not that locations scare me, I'm just terrible about finding my way around. I need buildings for my photo memory. On that "special night" I followed the instructions given. I walked in and the waitress took one look at me and said, "in the back." I hailed her as she walked away, thinking she didn't know I was here for the meeting, so I said, "I'm here for the meeting" and she gave me a once over and said again, "in the back." I went to "the back" and there were many people there, actors, directors, camera crew, a few writers, anyone and everyone who worked in the industry. (that's how I took on a mentor who... well, I try to make a policy about writing only good things on my blog so we'll skip it)

I kept coming to the meetings that were one night a month in "the back" and what they did was go around the room and say, "who are you and what do you need" and people would tell them, "I'm part of film crew, but I need a new project," and they'd hook them up. It's a great fix if someone was there that needed what you could offer, but when it came to me, it was always the same, as if they'd forgotten that I'd been there every month, "go to seminars, go to conventions," and I was thinking, "but how do I find these? What am I supposed to do when I get there?" Nothing really made sense back then, not like the many years of "being in it" now.

Finally a man showed up, because he heard of the "Secret Writers' Society" which I was privately suspecting wasn't much of a writing society and it wasn't extremely secret. The one thing about this place is that the guy in charge, you had to tell him who told you about the meeting. When I first met him, he said, "Oh, he didn't mention he was sending you." That made me a little startled, but so many new people kept showing up. I was thinking that maybe it was only secret to the writers because not a lot of writers were showing up.

So back to the man. He was a script agent looking for scripts. He showed up every month asking for scripts. Finally I approached him and said, "It's not a script, but it's something to read." Next meeting I gave him the story. The meeting after that he told me I was the "queen of similes and metaphors." I asked if I edited it, if he would read it again. He said yes. I edited it and I wrote him asking him if he was interested in reading it again. He said "not at this time." That was that. I was done with the meetings and the same advice that got me no where closer to understanding the industry. Two months later, while attending my new university classes, the script agent called me and said, "I'm interested in reading the changes you made." (apparently the storyline had remained with him.)

He read this ol' book of mine and told me he would like to meet me and discuss it. I met him, we discussed it. He thought I wasn't pushing the storyline like I could, but with some revisions, it could really fly. We made the revisions, and more revisions and even more revisions. The book still didn't sell. Our contract ended and I put (C) novel on the side. The book had a plot that I was taking characters from to put in other novels that would eventually branch off from this one, but (C) novel was the start of a very large variety of books to come whose characters wanted their own stories.

I tried to tempt other agents with it, but all the letters that came back were rejections. Finally I gave up and put her in a drawer for good. She would have stayed there, except I'm itching to write the character spin-offs and I still want (C) novel to be the first of the group published.

This is where I'm at and with a handful of years and a Bachelor's in English with a focus on Creative Writing, I think I've come a long way in my profession to say (C) just wasn't ready for the bookshelves. She wasn't ready for the life I had expected her to have. She needed work. When I get discouraged I think, "this script agent really believed in this novel. He really thought it would go somewhere." That generally gets me back to work on it.

And work it is. Lots and lots of work. The sentence structure still reads exactly as he had put it, (I tease not) "Portions of this novel are excellent. I'm just amazed at the scenes you create, but then other sections read like a five year old wrote it."

Bam! and, Bam!

All I'm seeing is that five year old!

Words worth remembering. I added four new chapters at the beginning because my original first chapter had way too many people to introduce at one go. I'm at a scene right now where I did a huge, major, taboo info dump!! Can you hear the dump trucks beeping as they backup on this one? I spent most of the day trying to fix it and then stupid me hit a key and the entire document closed, which wouldn't be so bad, but the fact that I okayed the action without thinking made sure that nothing of the original was saved. That really sucks because those first two pages I'd fixed sounded pretty good. I was peacock hopping around the apartment until I lost it all.

Upset, I finally, said "forget it" and took Em out to explore our surrounding. I bought 4 books. It took the sting out of losing 2 pages, BUT I really needed to get back to work and that's what I did. I have the two pages back, but now I'm dealing with the info dump and it's deleting tons of words off this chapter. I think it was a weak chapter anyways because of what I had originally done with it. It needs more meat to be a better piece, so I'm carving the fat right out of it and worrying about the real issues in the 3rd draft it's waiting to become.

I'd say a "writer's work is never done" but I don't feel like this is an issue. I'm happy with this. Little details make me happy. If I didn't have a sentence to nit-pick, it would be something else and trust me, my OCD can get maddening at times so I'm glad writing can draw me away from my oddities.

Place the Nightmare

Normally, I can place where my nightmare came from. I mean, come on, look at the books I chose to read and the movies I entertain myself with. Em and I even made it through the entire level of "Zombie OverKill" video game. I'm pretty good at saying, "this was a variation of this and that." The nightmare I just had, I can't place. It rocked me right out of sleep and normally the nightmares that shake me are very mundane. This was just freaky and there was no "Emory, hold me," words that I normally speak. I'll admit this because I have no shame, but when I was no longer too scared to throw my feet over the side of the bed and make it through the dark to the office, I did just that and wrote down the dream with some variations that I think might work better for the novel. This is a little out of my norm if I write this, which might be refreshing considering my other projects haven't made it too far.

Here is a funny "You Know You're A Writer" site. Take a look. You'll see what I added to the list. Sadly, most of this is true. I'll do anything to get "one more word" on the page. Remember what I said earlier about my aunt saying, "Put a period on it and let's go!" So I enjoy reading the lists people made. Pretty funny.

I'm getting towards the end of (BNF) and I feel it within my very bones like a wizened woman waits for the dawn. I am getting stuck since this is so close to the end. I haven't the slightest now, where I want it to go. I did know, but after I did all that revising that lead to writing completely new chapters from seven onward, I really don't feel the ending fits anymore. I liked the "very" end of the original though so I might still try to play that into the story, but leading to the end is going to be hard.

I feel like putting everything to the side now to work on this book which means I'm very close to just putting this product into its final draft. Final draft leads to final edit, which means readers, but I won't be some of my usual betas. Bad thing is the ending is fairly still new, like 1st draft quality. It's because I sort of skirted around any major explanation during the original first draft, figuring I'd come to a good ending conclusion later. Well guess what? It's later and this is still extremely hard. Just not in love with any of the words I've put down.

SQUEEEE!!

I started to get this creeping sensation. You know the one... the story that starts like a seed and then sprouts and before you know it the sucker has leaves and keeps growing and growing!

I started to take notes on it today and I did the thing I usually do when trying to get some inspiration for the budding thought and the next thing I knew I was working on the first chapter wondering what I was going to call this thing and every problem I had just started falling into place with answers.

I have a new project, a project I really shouldn't be working on top of the other two I'm trying to finish, BUT well, it knows what it wants.

I have a great title for this story, I have GREAT names for my characters (may I add that I'm so in love with the characters at the moment... the new buyer's high, I guess) and I'm just beating a path through this first chapter and through some pretty nifty ideas that are popping up. I was going to put this story up under my pseudonym, but depending on how violent this is and if it's romance or just well, another well known term, I may or may not be submitting this under the pseudonym I chose for myself for this kind of fiction.

Either way, I love these moments when I'm completely drugged by the story. Better than any drug.

To keep in the spirit of writing, I'm listening to trance. Really, I know, I need better openings than the "rave scene" for so many of my stories, but I did write the "rave scene" out of Road Home. Emory made a suggestion that worked well. I didn't rework the "rave scene" out of Belen's novel. I am starting with an underground rave for (SG) BUT that will probably be worked out too, and if it's not, well, this is under my pseudonym.

Misspelled Names... Ug!

When it comes to names, I like the unusual. Just ask my family, I've now been denounced of my position to offer names for possible new family members, pets, even objects. I was denounced after naming the newest pet in the family Theate, theater without the "r" and they tell me no one on the street who asks for the dog's name can pronounce it. So this won't come as a surprise when you read my stories and I have some unusual names that I have fallen in love with.

The notes I get from readers that I absolutely love is when they say: "I love the name you chose for this character," or "What an unusual name, I really like saying it," or "The name you chose totally rocks!" Yep, real letters from people who are not related to me.

So what am I about to complain about? I have a character name that I wrote three different ways throughout my novel. I caught it when I had to go back and look for an earlier character I hadn't written down, and I noticed that one of my important characters had his name written a few different ways. I made a note of that so when I go back through I can fix it. What I really don't understand is why it's misspelled through one chapter and then right the next few and spelled a whole different way on a chapter than spelled right through the next four chapters, etc. What was going on?

Now, the end of the complaint.

Both books are coming along nicely. (C) novel is looking a little less like a fan based story and more like something that might get picked up by hardcore epic readers. I'm a little worried that (BNF) novel has slow pacing. I thought I'd get to the sex scene (it being a romance and all) but nope, the characters were either not ready for it, or I wasn't ready for it. I just felt that having the scene now would have been forced and I'm on chapter sixteen with only a little mentioned moments that got rough for all involved. Every chapter that brings me to the end makes me forget the beginning and I start to wonder if the book has merit. I start to think of everything that should be mentioned that I don't remember adding in the story and from there, the fear of a bad novel just sky rockets. I was reading back a few chapters, like I said, looking for a reference I had made and the few paragraphs weren't badly done for a second draft. I can't promise I'll be pleased by the 3rd or 4th draft, but for a 2nd, I feel there is something worth working with. I guess that should keep me pacified for now.

Warning: This next part has major spoilers for "Star Smashers of the Galaxy Rangers."

Just finished reading Harry Harrison's book, "Star Smashers of the Galaxy Rangers." You know my current interest in older books never stops to amuse me. I find some of these older released sci-fi books to have a great sense of humor. Can I just say "WOW!" I got to the end of the book when Sally kissed John, and then Jerry kissed Chuck and said, "Wow, what the hell did I miss through this entire 190 page novel?" I thought the kiss was out of pure astonished pleasure in getting back to earth alive. I'd probably be kissing everyone around me if I went on their little trip and made it back alive, however, I thought both of the guys were in love with Sally. Through the entire book they were playing kissy face and touch & stuff with her, but suddenly she flat out says, "boys will be boys, and sometimes girls," and I'm thinking, "Holy Cow! This writer threw a curve ball! He isn't afraid of anything!" So I guess, despite all the adventures they went on, Chuck and Jerry had a "thing," though truthfully, if I were Chuck and knew that Jerry was going to "put me to rest" by killing me, I think I'd find a complaint about our relationship, though Chuck had lost it somewhere in the middle of the novel when his brain was horribly destroyed by mind readers. Either way, I really didn't see this ending coming. Yeah, they were buddy, buddy, and they did go out of their way for each other, but I'd have to read it again to see if there are any real hints. Very funny book.

In other news: I just totally rocked chapter 16 of (BNF) novel right out of the water.

Emory bought a book on "Texts From Last Night" by Lauren Leto and Ben Bator that I need to read and see if any of my texts made it into the book. I seem to follow their theme with some of the texts I've sent to people and I'm sure all those who are on my text list would gladly agree that at times I'm WAY to honest about what's going on. (Danne-chan, you better not comment on that one! Nor you Horacio and Agent Nik)

Okay, I better turn this computer off before I stay up the rest of the night working on the next amazing (and soon to be hated) chapter of (BNF) or (C) novel.

P.S. I bought two more books on writing, but these ones seemed pretty deep about the writer's spirit. I felt an instinct connection that someone could explain the constant insanity I feel when writing, the joy, the annoyance, the hate, the love, the frustration and the insecurity, etc... Oh, and I bought one Zombie anthology. I couldn't resist.

Oh Happy Day! Oh Happy Day!

My computer desk is now put together!! It took Emory and my dad some hours, but they got it put together. I made soup and cornbread for them because there wasn't much to choose in our cabinet to cook and because it is cold outside. It's raining. For those who even care, the rains are going out, but a cold front is coming in. So glad I have an entire shelf dedicated to my hot chocolate. I bet you think I'm kidding, but sadly, I am not.



I submitted "Catching Ladies" to a YA short story site. It can take up to two months to hear back from them. I didn't submit "Road Home" to anyone yet. Did I already mention how proud I am of the rewrites on this? If I didn't emphasis it enough, I'm deeply sorry, but I really, really love how the changes played out.

My outline for (C) novel no longer follows with the changes I've made. I wrote the outline to help me keep up with all my characters. I have many in this novel and I think that's one reason why it just wasn't picked up. Now I spaced it out some and I'm very happy with the changes. I'm thinking after this project is done, I'll get back to the novelette and see what changes I can make to it. So in love with (O) and (M)'s relationship. Very complicated. Also, the relationship between creator and creations have complicated in this story. Must make a note to go back and rework the earlier chapters. Ug, I'm feeling devastated the outline is currently a mess. I should fix that before my OCD gets out of control.

Another thing about (C) was that I had a hard time making people fight. There was no aggression in the first story. Now there tends to be a lot of aggression and rough housing and 1 child sacrifice popped up into the novel. YIKES! I told Emory it was there, but I couldn't go through with it. That's what happens when you let unlicensed characters drive your inspiration van. I wrote them all tickets. Will the sacrifice stay? It would have if it were a goat, so we'll see if I end up writing that out in the third go.

Writing is a very long process, that's not the problem. I just wish there was a little money involved so I could spend more time focusing on my stories. I'd also love to have a few readers. I currently have three friends reading (SP).

Last news of the day, I got a rejection letter with my name on it. Good thing Emory pointed that out because I would have overlooked it. I'm so use to the "Dear Author" letters. This is new having a letter with my name. I don't know what I'll do with it yet. Maybe I'll keep it with my other rejection letters that amused me.

I'm working on "Broken Rede" which is a short story. I wrote it many years ago out of complete anger. Now that I've looked at it, it's exhausting trying to find away to get the same story across but control the fury in it.

Something needs to be organized here. I just know it! I'm off to do that so I can avoid thinking how much I'd like to throw this entire story away. I either head out to the outlet mall or I organize pictures. What will it be? I already organized a few hundred pictures. We're scanning them into the computer so that if there is ever a fire, we'll have one disk to save instead of the two crates.

Determined to Sell

I have a short story that I'm pretty proud of. I wrote it in college and have edited, edited, edited it. I had come so close to selling it, but the anthology went with a supernatural element and ironically, this was the very first suspense (non-supernatural) story I wrote. So close, yet so far. I've tried many places for this short story and every year grow so disheartened that I end up giving up on it.

Emory gave me a pretty harsh and greatly needed pep talk. He got me back into gear. I really want to sell this story. It's becoming the black sheep of my creative progress. I decided I needed to take another look at it and so I did just that. It wasn't bad, (I have to remind myself because it was almost bought) but it needed a lot more work.

Again, I am amazed with my lessons. I thought this project was the bees knees and then three years later I look at it with growing dread seeing all the amateur mistakes I've made with it. It took the better part of the day to edit it. It was a 4525 word project cut down to 3083 words. All those words cut out were extra, mindless words that just bogged the story down or took too long to explain the situation. I'm almost fearful of calling this project finished. Eventually it will have to be "finished" so I can send it out, but I fear that two years later I'll look at the story and say, "What was I thinking? This isn't done! This is barely a first draft!"

I let Em read the first two pages of both drafts to see which one he liked the best. It was no contest, he voted for the changes I made. Sometimes it isn't very apparent what I'm learning through the years, then I look back at old projects and realize I came a very long way. I've had some very good gurus here on the net. Rick, Charles and Stewart, I want to thank personally for answering all the questions I send their way and the feedback I've gotten from them.

So I'm going to let this project sit for the night and read it again tomorrow before sending it off to a place I have in mind. So much editing, so little time! The biggest problem with selling this story is that it's suspense, not mystery/suspense and it's horror, but not blood and guts horror. Selling a short story is so difficult!

Magic in the Making

I've added a great deal of new chapters to my (C) novel. I have grown so much in my writing abilities in the last five years. I can look at this story and see that I wasn't anywhere close to having a final draft. There was a great deal of work that had to be done. No wonder the agents kept sending me their "pass" letters. The nice thing is, I can take what I've now learned from writing books, writing acquaintances, writing friends, and from school and redo this novel.

That said, only in draft two, I managed to get a magic scene! I love those scenes. It's a chance to be super creative with a little help from websites on color meaning, candle use, incense to burn, etc. This scene had started as a small magic piece, but I've mixed a few studies together. I am so happy, but it needs work. I keep telling myself not to get bogged down by this chapter. I'm just outlining it better than draft one, but draft three will be much better.

It's really hard to listen to that voice because lately, I just sit and ponder my word choices or my characters decisions. Must write this first. Each draft I find something to focus on that brings me closer to the finished product.

To apply for the MFA program, I have to give the school 30 pages of a project. I'm trying to decide if that will be (C) novel or (SP) novel. Since I won't be giving it to anyone for at least another year, I might have another project by then. I won't be giving (BNF) novel to them because once finished, I'll be trying to sell that under a pseudonym. I'm still trying to figure out a catchy title that actually goes with the second Belen novel.