I see the fairly impressive health trainer and nutritionist standing two rows down from my cubicle. I may harbor a small, less than innocent interest, but seeing the both of them wandering the rows, I nearly gagged on my Pop Tart, after I swore up and down that I was a health junky, etc… Okay, maybe I fabricated just a tiny bit to them on my healthy behaviors. So I start shoving things into my desk. It’s not enough. I collect all my sticky notes, pens, page tabs and tuck them under my monitor, and push all my cups to one side of the desk, throw things away, put my phone piece on its peg…
Michael says, “Christina, are you leaving?” Me: “No! I just put a few pens away.” Michael: *snorts* “You put more than a few pens away.” Me: “Never mind, just leave it alone.”
Next thing I know, Nicole has passed by and stops. Nicole: “OMG! Are you work at home now? When did that happen? When are you leaving?” Me: “I’m not work at home.” Nicole: “Where are you going? What are you doing? Your stuff is all gone.” Me: “No it’s not. It’s in my desk. I just moved a few things.” Nicole: “Your desk is so… so…” Me: “Clean? I clean my desk! I’m not dirty!” Michael: “I’d say you are more… maybe… settled than the rest of us.” Me: “Okay! Can we just drop it! I cleaned my desk.”
I’m watching over my co-workers shoulders, because the trainer and nutritionist are just a row over and my heart is pounding. I need to look like this is casual, but secretly I’m trying to decide how to strike up a conversation.
Terri comes over. “What’s up chicka? Nicole is afraid you’re leaving and not telling anyone.” Me: “I cleaned my desk! It’s not uncommon for me to clean my desk!” Terri: “Yeah, but this is really clean.” Me: “Good lord! Does everyone think I’m messy? I don’t get it. I put a few pens away and everything things there is some conspiracy!” Terri: “We’re just concerned.” Natalie: “You keep saying ‘cleaning will kill you’ so this is a little odd for you.” I sighed, almost sure the nutritionist and trainer heard some of this.
P.S. I shoved the remaining Pop Tart in my mouth. It was dry and I’ll probably not crave them for a good while. I usually like them in the winter, straight out of the toaster, but I made myself gag doing it like this.