Monday, March 20, 2017

Mini-Movies, Documentaries and Writing

I've been wanting to take some short scary stories and make them into even shorter mini-movies that are a couple minutes long. I have no idea how to accomplish this so I guess it's going to be by trial and error. I've been chewing my bottom lip and pondering over some of the trickier things like graphics and stage gore. Even if this is a complete failure, it'll be something fun to do.

I was listening to the only radio talk show I find entertaining in the morning, and the hosts were fixated on a "type" of woman that drove them nuts. One said, "She's the one that never gets invited to parties." and then imitating a female voice said, "I watched this documentary..."

I sat up a little straighter in my car and said, "I'm that woman!" Seriously... I am. I have no idea how many times I've started a conversation with, "I watched this documentary last night;

that aliens are angels and demons visiting earth...

there is this race of lizard people living underground...

people have passed into parallel universes on accident...

there is sugar in everything we eat and we will never escape this addiction...

you wouldn't believe the size of this giant snake that use to exist...

there is proof that aliens have lived on mars..."

So long story short, I can't prove I've learned my lesson from this. I really enjoy the documentaries I watch because even if they aren't true, the possibilities are endlessly exciting.

It's already the Spring Equinox! So excited people. I want to go feel the sun's heat on my skin as I lay on the grass. Flowers are in bloom. Baby birds should be chirping soon!

Writing Update:

I am slowly editing two online stories that I want to finish sometime this year. Originally they were one-shot stories, but I let the reviewers excitement for additions to the story twist my arm. I like the challenge of extending the story without losing the interest of the readers. No word goals for either online story.

PB: I'm working on the 2nd novella for this series. I had a solid outline for it, but the beginning didn't feel right. As I started to change a few things here and there, the original outline suddenly didn't fit the new direction I really wanted to go. I'm at 6,000 words. 25,000 word goal.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Auditions, Hippies and Clothes

Ms. Jazz told me today, that she can almost see flowers growing in my wake. She told me I was born in the wrong era. She also told me that when she was in high school (probably the same time as my mom), that she would beat up people with my similar personality. Apparently, by definition, she was a greaser.  She says, though, that she really loves my energy. I personally think she just loves the stories I tell her.

I laughed at her joke. I can do that now, because the trauma of junior high is finally healing. I did; however, tell her that girls like her still do beat up girls like me. I had a tough time and that wasn't something that went away when I graduated middle school.

As my favorite 20 yr old would say "Keep doing you." She's so freaking darling. She makes my day and apparently, I make her day. I love her spirit.

I'm afraid to start auditioning. I dragged my feet with the pictures, then dragged my feet again at getting them looked at by a second person. I'm still dragging my feet to get them sent off for copies. Now I'm dragging my feet to book an audition. I told Emory this. Emory's advice "Then I guess you're going to have to face your fear." Damn. I don't want to.

So, seconds before I started writing this blog... I actually requested a time on Saturday for an audition. I'm nervous. Emory will have to coach me on how to cold read. I feel a little sick. Shouldn't I be excited? I use to love this when I was in my twenties.

Also, I've been dragging my feet to learn martial arts. I think it's time to get this ball rolling too. I mean, if I follow Emory's advice, which is "just do it." Wait, doesn't Nike shoes have that logo?

P.S. My shirts came in and they are AWESOME!!! Emory loves the atheist shirts I ordered him. I didn't show him the online options I found, so he had a pretty nice surprise when he opened the packages. I love his happy, surprised face. 

Monday, March 06, 2017

Vegan Shirts, Drunk Lunch and Future Trips

I love morning surprises! Julie brought me a hot chai tea from Starbucks. I'm not really sure if it had almond milk or coconut milk, but DANG! it was so delicious. We discussed drinks in the past and I think I mentioned that I liked either, but that I don't drink cow milk.

I finally did some online shopping for shirts I've (forever) had my eyes on. I bought two vegan shirts, a few funny writer shirts and a pagan shirt! Pagan Pride!!! Yes, extra exclamation marks because being a garden witch is such a peaceful path. However; all the wrong information circulating about this path is disconcerting.

One of my favorite stores has a whole 1970's fashion on their racks. I think I'll have to head back and get a few new shirts and another dress. I missed the bohemian clothes they had a few years back. By the time I saw the clothes line, there was nothing in my size.

I ordered some herbal supplements per the suggestion of my holistic horse doctor friend. This is my first week taking them. He has a lot of faith in the medication, though every time I see him, he usually has a great deal of suggestions. Sometimes my stomach feels like a medicine cabinet.

It has been a very fun start to March. I went to Scottsdale for lunch. Actually, I only asked Jack and Farmer Bill if they wanted to meet for lunch... but we're talking about the commune, so, long story short, Jeffery called wanting to know what time I'd be over.

This is funny because Jeffery is at the second commune in Scottsdale. I told him I hadn't thought of a time. I was just going to show up. It's actually in my family handbook; Section Two of Book Seven: Those who fall under this family line may forever show up to any function at any given time they choose.

Emory and I showed up at the time dragged out of me. I guess the second commune decided to come and a few people from the commune down in Phoenix came. There is another commune that I don't really visit too often out in Surprise, but a few people showed up from that location too. It was great. We laughed so freaking hard. Farmer Bill said he'd come over next weekend.

Our best bartender said "This is breaking tradition."

The tradition? The three communes usually meet 2 times a year, October (for the celebration of our grand commune leaders) and again at Christmas. It was pretty surprising that everyone showed up for this lunch and then people pointed to me and said I was the one that made the phone calls. I think they got this wrong. I called Jack. Farmer Bill called Jeffery. Jeffery called me. Ann called me and told me to call Mike. I called Mike. I did not call anyone else so all those people who showed up must have been texted. I love how information flies through the channels here.

Emory thinks I should get out to California. I know a few people out there and one of them might come to the airport to pick me up. I've lived out there on and off my entire life. I'm not sure why I'm suddenly dragging my feet on visiting. There is no reason to be so terrified of everything. I really want to get past this before I become a shut-in.

We're going to Las Vegas this month!! I wish Emory's friends could meet us there. Last time, it was such a freaking blast. Might be too cold to hang out by the pool, but with our weather, one would never know what to expect.

Wednesday, March 01, 2017

Fat Tuesday, Yogurt Bar and Writing

I passed out a few hundred beads for Fat Tuesday! Woot! Woot! I had such a great time and so many people seemed really happy to get beads. It was not a slow Tuesday. The rain was crazy too. If we lived anywhere else, I might say it looked like tornado clouds. I actually forgot how to use my umbrella. I went through so many of them in Florida due to the wind, but out here, I don't think I've even used an umbrella once. I just run for it and the rain hasn't been that bad when I'm obligated to leave the house.

For the month of February, we've been going to the yogurt bar. I love that we get to taste all the different flavors, mix them and add what we want on top. My favorite yogurt mix was the apple pie flavor, which doesn't seem like a common monthly flavor. I usually add nuts, but once in a while I love my gummies on top.

I brought the wine the neighbor gave us, to the commune. Emory and Ann tried to open it, but the cork fell apart. The wine smelled funny, so we were going to dump it, but our Italian friend said he wanted it. About four days later, I remembered to ask him how it went, and he said once he got the cork out of the top, the wine actually smelled rancid, so he strained it a few times, but it looked disgusting so he didn't try it. Sadly, I still have 40-ish bottles left. I told my friends I wanted to throw the bottles away, but to my surprise, they said they wanted to give it a try. I warned them. They still want to do it.

Finally got my professional pictures taken. I love Martin. He's such a sweet man. I know he's taken some pictures for our performance group, so I was excited to have him do my head shots for future auditions. However; it was the same Saturday as the Boot Scooters monthly party. I showed up early with my mom. Martin met us there.

I felt a little weird because I brought so much with me; makeup, different clothes, samples of what I wanted. I've been avoiding these parties, so suddenly showing up with bags of things seemed a little wrong. People wanted to hug me and tell me they were excited I finally came. I had to tell them I wasn't really there to party. I used the excuse that I left my better half at home and it wouldn't be fun without him. That is partly true, but also, these things give me anxiety. I don't like talking about my anxiety. It's just a weird topic.

Writing Update

HKT: Finally finished! I took the 3 day weekend and got the final chapters done. It feels really good to say that. It also feels good getting all the feedback on the story. The comments and kudos from readers makes me smile. I love when people can hop into my world.

OS: I'm working on the third chapter. I didn't think I would go back and start editing this soon, but yesterday I did just that with the first page. I like this rewrite. I want to make each chapter almost a standalone, but I think I missed the mark with chapter two.

CSAN: Also working on the third chapter for this story. 


Sunday, February 19, 2017

Potlucks, Performances and Writing

Potlucks fill me with anxiety. I never really know what to make. Last time I brought a salad and it was barely touched, which meant lots of salad leftover for Emory and me. This time I made cornbread. I figured it would be the easiest thing to carry. I didn't expect it to taste so freaking good, so Emory and I ate two pieces each. I put them in cupcake wrappers so it would be easy to handle in the food line.

At first, I didn't see anyone take anything and I was towards the back of the line. The cute platter I put it in (a wedding gift platter) was still untouched by the time I made it to the front. I took one, of course. By the end of the little party, there was still half of the cornbread cupcakes left.

I went back to doing what I needed to do for the day. When I came back to collect my platter, every single piece of bread was gone. So I guess the cornbread was a success. I now know the perfect thing to bring to functions. Super happy.

We had a super great performance on Friday night. I love being front and center and smiling out at the crowd and seeing them smile back. I love my team too. They make me laugh.

It rained Saturday morning, which meant a change in my usual morning plans. I should probably start cleaning the house anyways. Emory thinks our living situation will be much smaller in our next location. The "next location" isn't coming for another year, but last time we rushed it and everything got thrown into boxes, which was hell to go through later.

I can do this. I can let go.


Writing Update:

I plan to finish HKT. I've said it before, but now it's been a year in the making and it needs to be done.

PB 2 : I wrote myself into a hole, so I had to go back and work a few things out. There will be so many rewrites coming as very small details pop into my head. These tiny details change a few things that I have to carefully read through and make sure follows. I do outline, but mostly I sit and write out the conversations I hear in my head when I let the characters play out the scenarios.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

The Writer and the Street Walker

I'm not sure when I started noticing this woman walking her dogs. My early morning commute is both cold and dark, but every morning, there she is in a very sexy nightie, knee-high hose, heels, tiny top and no coat. The fact that it was nearly 40 degrees in the morning and she didn't have a coat, drew my attention.

Actually, a lot of things drew my attention.

Like how her super curly hair, pinned high and bouncing with her steps, looked red under the streetlamps. Like her choice of canine friendship, two fun loving dog breeds; a husky and a gold retriever. How she looked almost a hint masculine when I was within a certain distance of her. That she chose to walk during the morning rush hour minutes before the sun was set to rise.

How insanely interested I became of her. How obsessive that desire was to pull onto a side street so I could meet her. How utterly enamored I've become of this street walker with an ambiguous gender; which excites me.

She is this butterfly that I desperately want to have the thrill of catching; to feel the wings softly beat against my careful hold. Then I would be happy that I met someone so unique.

But alas, I haven't seen her this week. It's getting hotter and it's not nearly as dark any more at 6:20 a.m.

I wonder if I'll see her again.

Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Rummage Sales and Writing

Emory brought home these Girl Scout cookie flavored Cheerios and I ate half a box. Seriously. I sat on the couch and munched on dry cereal until I couldn't eat any more. Bad thing is; I think I made myself sick off them and we still have a couple boxes left. It's been almost a week and I haven't been able to touch them again without even feeling like I was going to be sick. Have you done that before?

 I'm starting to feel so domesticated. That's not my style. I mentioned my concern to Emory and he told me that he thinks my wild spirit is still there, just waiting for a chance to go. I asked a few people if they'd be interested in driving to California for a weekend. I really want to go to the beach and sit on the sand and read while the sun goes down, like I use to. I'm ready to just hit the road and go somewhere.

I spent the entire Saturday with Ann. She had the day off, so we went to rummage sales. I found two pictures frames for my brother for his office. I found a Wii game for $1. (I haven't tried playing it yet, so I hope it's in good condition). I found 2 search and find books which are like Where's Waldo. (I now have 4 unique search and find books). I bought 12 Mardi Gras beads for 50 cents. (I plan to give the beads out to everyone on Fat Tuesday).

We ended up meeting John for lunch and after lunch John came back to the commune to help unload the things Ann found. She got so much crystal for $6.00 and I helped her clean the glass. My favorite wine glasses in the mix say they are from Romania. They are so beautiful. The other set of wine glasses are purple with flowers painted on them. It's really cool that we found these items.

Nurse Nadine came home at this time while we were unpacking and she helped Ann clean this antique yellow dresser and I helped her move it. Then we moved this antique sewing machine into her room so she could put her television on it. She still has that huge doll house in her bedroom. They got the miniature railing fixed. It's a long project getting the doll house put back together like it was over thirty years ago.

Writing Update:

PC: Paused on this since the story is taking a possible new route. Need to map it out and make sure it's not leading into a hole.

Saturday, February 04, 2017

Blog Visitors from Around the World

Hi friends from around the world! These are my top visitors this week!

United States                 Indonesia                   Germany               Romania
France                           Singapore                   Spain
China                            Chile                           Poland

There are so many countries right here that would be exciting to visited! I'm so glad to have all of you coming around. And my friends from the United States, so excited to have you all here sharing my ventures too!

Do all of you have blogs? What would you like to see more of here? What's going on in your lives? How many of you are witches? How many of you are writers, actors, artists, play sports, do yoga, amateur cooks, backpackers, surfers, scuba divers, closet dancers/singers? XOXO

I went to a few rummage sales and I found this Arizona guidebook. I really want to start taking some days off and go see these places before we hit the road again. I didn't know there were so many neat spots. However, I need to wait until the snow melts because some of these cool places are north and are closed during the winter.

Also, the fair is in town and it sounds like they have a dinosaur display! Wheepee!!! I love dinosaurs. Who doesn't right? It's one part of my childhood that still excites me; I mean besides dogs, cotton candy, vacations, surprise lunches, cosplayers, Marvel/DC television shows... Okay, a lot of things excite me.

I bought a few new Wii games, so I decided to have a game night last night. I'm surprised I'm even awake right now. It's such a huge addiction. I could play Wii for hours... which I did last night with my guests. I found more people who like video games, so I might have another game night but make it a party.

Wednesday, February 01, 2017

AZ Parties, White Canary and Writing

Last Saturday, Emory and I went to a hosted SAG event. It was up by the mountains so the atmosphere was picturesque. There were little gifts at our place mats which was exciting. Emory and I ordered tea. Everyone dressed nice. I think I was the only one present as her hippie-dippie self. I pull off the 70's pretty well too.

There was some awesome giveaways during the commercials. The whole event was new and I need more "new" in my life. I freaked out when I walked into the jujitsu studio. I want to be a little more like the White Canary and a little less like the mild mannered Clark Kent.

Just kidding. Clark Kent can still leave his house and do amazing things. As for me? New people give me panic attacks. I need to fight this! Stand up and become a warrior!!! (Can you guess who's been watching a hella-lot of action movies lately?)

P.S. Can White Canary and me be friends? I so want to go dancing with her. I promise not to be spastic on the dance floor. Those years might have left me. Maybe.

I absolutely can NOT listen to any more creepy pasta stories. I tried, but I'm seriously freaked out right now. It comes and goes, but this has been lingering. A few nights ago, I settled into the bed alone, (since Emory has a weird schedule) and felt a hand sprawled out over my back. It felt like Emory had leaned in and was quietly seeing if I was awake by touching me. It was such a "I'm familiar with you touch," and it sent goose bumps down my skin because I felt loved and excited. I turned, expecting it to be Emory, but I was alone.

I turned the nightlight on after that. I don't like when the ghosts touch me. It's just strange to "feel" something there and expect it to be from this world where my eyes can register the gesture with the person. Not being visually there flips the experience.

Writing Update:

Too many private little standalone stories on my mind. Been enjoying writing them, but I need to get back to my own projects. Been "shipping" some people lately. In other words, I've been distracted.

<--fan being="" code="" distracted.="" fiction="" for="" nbsp="" p="" writer="">
WWF: 84 paged edited /107 total in story: I'm currently working through a romantic scene. So many delicate words have to be spoken here. I have a character is very skittish.

TS: I rewrote the beginning, need to work on the rest of it. Want it to be fairly violent and dark. I can already feel it pulling on my heartstrings knowing what will happen to the players in this world. I like things dark.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Chasing Shadow: Young Adult Dark Fantasy

Chasing Shadow: Shadow Puppeteer Book 1 First Segment: CLICK HERE for more sample chapters


Shadows writhed an unnatural dance in my peripheral vision. When I turned to look at them head on, they disappeared, replaced by the solid images of the Ravers on the dance floor. The music and the laser lights only added to my paranoia.

I squeezed my fingers into my thighs to keep them from shaking. No matter how big the crowd or how loud the situation, fears and unwanted memories found me. I sank further into the beanbag, determined to ward off the oncoming depression as I waited for the two tiny pills I swallowed to take effect.

The only high I felt, so far, was a contact high from the many people crammed into the tin walls of the junkyard warehouse, enjoying the rave. The dancers shimmered through glitter and glow sticks. I wanted to be more like them, not just the way they dressed, but their attitudes. They looked so liberated with their bright makeup and dyed hair. I bet they didn’t fear World Congress or maybe it was the island that encouraged them.

Xyla was run by convicts and anarchists. The island was ungoverned. Unlike the rest of the world, they were free to drink, smoke, do drugs and party. I craved this freedom, but I didn’t see future happiness on an island surrounded by electric fences built to keep people trapped.

Starr bounced onto the side of the beanbag, jolting me. “Belen, why are you pouting in the corner? I’ll buy you a drink.”

“It’s getting late.” I wanted to add that we were taking a huge risk staying this long on the island, but the words barely formed on my numb lips.

“Are you training to be an agent for World Congress? Until I see a badge, Miss McKnight, I’m not going anywhere with you just yet!” she said. 

I yelled after her. “I’m serious.”

She was already mingling within the crowd. I had to go after her. It took a great deal of energy to lift myself from the beanbag. My hands sank, giving me no solid surface to balance my unsteady body. Once up, I started through the crowd, stepping on toes and fending off elbow jabs.

One group stood so close, it was impossible to weasel in, but time was slipping away. The longer we stayed on the island, the greater our chance the boat running illegally between the islands would stop for the night. I didn’t want to touch anyone, but I didn’t have a choice.

I tapped the shoulder of the young man ahead of me and he turned disarming any qualms I had about the group. His eyes were stunning; flame yellow with a black slit down the middle. He took me in with a promising smile.

He was taller than me and a few years older, which I liked. His hair was as black as mine; cut short and spiked. Unlike most inhabitants of either island, his skin had a bronze tint, but it was his eyes that had my heart fluttering.

One touch and I could push my influence onto him. I knew my wants were selfish and the power of persuasion I possessed often blew up in my face, but my desire was strong. It worked both ways. I could sense people’s feelings and knew when to avoid a potentially violent moment, but sometimes their ambiance lingered on me like smoke clinging to clothes. Strong emotions were the hardest to get rid of. I could carry someone’s anger or remorse for days.

A hand on his shoulder drew his attention to an elegant woman with feathery wings. She had a great costume. I couldn’t tell where the wings were connected, but with both their attention diverted, I felt awkward standing around like a third wheel, so I pushed on through and headed towards the bar. The sooner we got back to our home island, the better. The penalty for getting caught crossing between the islands without a permit was steep. I couldn’t afford reform school with only two years left under the watchful eye of World Congress in their foster program. I saved my lunch money for years so I could afford the permit off Ardent to the mainland.