Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Painted Box and Dreams

I've been having a lot of dreams lately where I'm in the car having conversations with my grandma. She is everything I remember; feisty, pretty and assertive. Her hair is a pretty silver and her floral tops are always bright. I have that moment where I know she's not really here and this conversation can't really be happening. She's been dead now for a year, but I inform her of everything, wanting her opinion and well-wishes. She's always happy in these dreams that I'm not 100% convinced are ONLY dreams.

Science still doesn't know why we dream, at least that's what a science video on Youtube said. I love all those things on science, but lately, with all the theories on multiverses and dreams and 2D in theory with 4D = creatures watching us that we can't see... What I'm getting at is, sometimes this doesn't feel like a dream. I have a lot of those and I often wonder, if there are multiverses and when I die in them, where does that "me" go and does it just wait somewhere for the rest of my individual selves or my energy to reconnect?

And if so, then why can't I be speaking with my grandma in a car with the light so bright that I can't actually see where we're driving?

She seems pleased with everything. I told her how everyone is doing, but she knows. I miss all the sugar she had at her house. We recently visited and I went in search of said sugar, but there wasn't even a cookie. I was forced to eat frozen yogurt, which never would've happened if she still lived on our plain.

I'm sharing this because lately I almost feel like the world is a beautifully painted box and everything within it an illusion. It's one of those days when nothing feels real like I could easily shatter the illusion.

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